Anonymoisty

Anonymoisty: a mysterious wet patch usually found at Swingers parties

Life visualized

Quite good except for the accent. Found on Antifit

How to Solve Problems

Real Life Tower Defence

Here's an idea I would actually put into practice if I could get an arts grant to fun it.

Take the popular Tower Defence game idea and turn it into a real life game. This is like the Pac Manhattan thing a few years back.

Now I'm going to propose the idea that would work in a 1980's action/sci fi movie. You can swap out people actually dying for water based weapons and turn it into a "Wipeout" type show. Up to you. I prefer guns and chain saws. And if you want swap real people out for zombies. As no one cares that zombies die

Prison Tower Defence:
Elevator Pitch: Running Man meets death race meets tower defence.

It's a reality show set in a country with very relaxed civil rights. Prison guards have 1 week to set up their towers with a limited budget. Chain saws, guns, flame throwers they are all available. Guards work day and night until the countdown reaches zero and the gates open. Criminals race through and try and get past. Guards get money for each criminal they kill and the game start over again in a week once the first wave is done.

The way you turn this into a movie is that one of the criminals is an innocent man who was framed for the murder of his girlfriend by a corrupt cop who wanted her. This guy was the creator of the TV show Wipeout and Takeshi's Castle. He built the contraptions and is determined to escape the "Prison Tower Defence".

He escapes in the end only to find it all a dream.

So after actually writing it it seems morbid. Maybe a better way is to set up a park and have people run through the park trying to avoid getting ping-pong balls knocked off them by water balloons and hoses.

Muppet Pulp Fiction

This is fantastic! I love the Muppets and it looks like Disney is ramping up the Muppet viral videos on Youtube to potentially launch a new Muppet movie.

Make some noise!

We'll see this as a Diesel video in a few years.

Agadoo

Share Prices

"Once the biggest company in the world, General Motors is now valued by the sharemarket at $US5.6 billion. Mattel, which makes Matchbox cars, has a market capitalisation of $US6.2 billion"

Can't spell dictionary

hehe this always happens to me

Starwars According to a 3 year Old

This is fantastic

Van Damns Boner

Gotta love the 80's action stars.

Google Trends for Sexual Content

Sexual Content
I've been checking Google trends and I found the following interesting. Sorting the results by country on these results is quite interesting. Bukkake is most popular in Italy? I feel sorry for Italian women.

Note: Milf is also the name of The Moro Islamic Liberation Front, a Muslim separatist rebel group located in Southern Philippines. This will explain the recent news covered of MILF.

I have no idea why blowjobs were so popular in the middle of 2005?

High Speed Raspberry

This is awesome!

Torture Techniques Go Hi-tech

So cruel and in human!

Rude Spelling Bee

Quite well done

Family Guy and Missy Elliot

WOW! no video editing needed for this one. It fits perfect.

Here below is the original. The Missy Version is better.

Twisted Nerve: Kill Bill by a bird

What's worse than getting a song stuck in your head? Having a pet have the same problem and becoming very vocal.

Orly? Baby

The world would be a less funny place without animated gifs.

Have a Slogan

Funny Dog Poo

The Sprinkle Brigade decorate doggie doo (poo) they find on the street. The photos range from funny werid to just funny. Above are my favs. They have even made movies of their creations.

This is the only time the term "Funny shit" actually has two meanings.

Catch Phrase: Classic Vid

I remember this from back in 2001.

Dating Rejects

They Call Me Bruce: Nunchuck Flip Video

15 seconds of pue enjoyment, that gets better with each viewing. Enjoy.

PS. I love that Youtube's preview thumbnail gives nothing away.

AYDS

Finally Ayds in an easy to swallow pill form.

Raving Granny

This is why the internet is king. You can't see this shit on TV

Bukkake Milk

It takes alot of manpower to create such a refreshing drink.

N*GGERS

Slowly running out of taboos but you still cant help but laugh.

Here's CNN reporting opn the show

College Saga

Anyone who has played FInal Fantasy needs to watch this

The Oscars: The 411

Photobooth Mutant Submission

This is one of the funniest (and grossest) submissions I've had to the Photobooth Mutants group I set up on Flickr.

Toss and Turn next to the Jizz Spot

The Toss & Turn by itself is pretty funny but the fact it's 2 doors down from the Jizz Spot almost brought me to tears.

You might need to view the full size image to properly make it out.

Yoda Dog

The next tiem you feel blue have a look at this photo. It'll cheer you up. And if that doesn't work pull out the big guns with this flying dog.

Ahh... much better.

Panda

Vader Sessions

This cracks me up bigtime. File under Wish I thought of this.

Gullible

I posted my own message on Craig's List above the "official" one to try and fool people playing the Mission Impossible 3 Hunt game. Mine looks more offical as I posted the image in the message.

It seems to have worked as I have received around 12 emails so far. hehe it was too easy to resist.

Apple Movie Poster Gallery

Mike Industries ran a competition to win an Ipod. And the gallery of entries is funking funny. Some of these are truely inspired!

if you link this kind of thing then check out Worth 1000 which is always good a for a laugh.

Chuck DVD Player

Sometimes real life if wierder than fiction. No more so than this Chuck Norris DVD player. It protects your kids from harmful content. I'm not sure if he steps up and roundhouses your kids in the eyes to do this but even if not, this is a weird ass DVD player.

See what else Chuck has to offer here at MAX

The Hoff actually had a cimilar product but it only showed you beach babes and hair chested men. It wasn't as popular.

Lame Joke

Cool name for a ad firm

one car creative

say it a few times fast

Name of the Week

Paul Pijnappel
Manager Travel Advantage
American Express International, Inc.

Pineapple is one of my fav fruit.

Runner up for this weeks funniest name was Romyl Saladar which sounds like a side dish you order at a Klingon cafe.

Coming in third was Van Tran which was an 80's band was it not?

Yahoo! India

I found this quite funny. I can't remember why I was looking at Yahoo! India.

MR T

Mr T enters a kebab shop and says "I PIDE THE FOOL"

Smurf-tacular!

I can't get this Family Guy quote out of my smurfing head.

TELEVISION ANNOUNCER: We now return to the Smurfs...
(on television screen)
Smurf #1: Hey, did you have a good time last night?
Smurf #2: Smurf-tacular!
Smurf #1: Yeah, I saw you leave with Smurfette.
Smurf #2: Oh man, as soon as we got out of the bar, she started smurfing me.
Smurf #1: Shut the Smurf up!
Smurf #2: Yeah!
Smurf #1: Right in the Smurfing parking lot?
Smurf #2: Smurf-Yeah!
Smurf #1: Oh! That is freaking Smurf!

Ahh almost as good as the chicken fight in Season 2.

Plastic Bag Warning

Ant sent me this today. I'm unsure whether thats don't strangle yourself or someone else in the first diagram :)

Cock on the Mountain

I understand that Cock is another name for a male rooster but is there really any need to make the word COCK so big on the packaging?

Passer by: What's that your eating?
Me: Oh this... it's COCK!........ Frozen Young

And speaking of young coconut i wish more restaurants served young coconut. For those that haven't tried it you are missing out.

SMS Jokes

i started sending SMS's to those Joke things that advertise on TV.

The jokes are pretty funny

Here's one I got today

You SMS: "JOKE" to a certain number.
You get: "Knock Knock"
You send: "who's there" via SMS
You get: "Whada!"
You send: "Whada who" via SMS
You get: "Whada waste of money you DC!"
You send: "HAHAHAHA" via SMS

and at only $2.85 per SMS!! it's great fun.

New Reality Show

There's a new show on BBC4, it started yesterday, it's called:

There's something about Bernie

It's a reality dating show where 12 girls try and catch the eye of Bernie, a eligible bachelor with a successful business. What they don't know is that head been dead for 11 days.

Hilarious

Poo Clock

Tuesday i woke up late and had no time to do anythign before jumping into taxi to make a meeting for work.

This meant now my "Poo Clock" is out of alignment. Needing "Home Base" to feel comfortable, control of ones "Poo Clock" is important. Timing it for the morning and after work means you never have to go at work or any public place.

Missing a morning session means your body now gets confused and throws it all out of sync.

Hopefully the weekend will allow me to set it straight. It's like walking around with a brick in your colon.

Definitions

Peential
The puzzling feeling after passing water of how uncomfortable you must have been beforehand.

Knuckname
A nickname you don't want your parents of girlfriend to find out about.

Shaterteen
The length of time it takes the small pieces of glass broken on the kitchen floor to fully dissapear and you can once agin go barefoot to get a glass of milk a 2am without worry

Get Loose

I like to loosen up in the morning before getting off to work.

Prank

I couldnt seem to scrub the marker pen off my feet so they were kinda itchy all day.

Luckily I awoke when the marker reached my face :)

Button up shirt

Do you think Henry Rollins has to wear special Tshirts to allow his neck to fit?

Bean Bag Mystery

You buy a bean bag and fill when you buy it. 3-4 months later its looking a little sad so you top it up. Months pass and you buy more beans. And so the vicuous cycle continues.

Will my bean bag ever fill to a point where it never needs to be filled? I mean I understand that the beans get squashed but after a while (6 years) shouldnt the beans that are squashed fill the actual space inside the bag?? Or do the bean manufacturers have a sinister plot to make people buy their beans forever.

And if the beans do hit a critical mass that they never need to be filled can't I just buy pre-crushed beans in the first place and pay that extra cost, knowing I will never have to sit on the bus form the supermarket with a giant bag of beans under my arm?

Also what is the record for the worlds biggest beanbag? I mean theres a Guiness Record I think any seamstress could tackle. Forget beard of bee's thats too dangerous.

Cold Banana's???

I was given a puzzled look by Rob today after he found out I had put a banana in the fridge and was planning on eating it.

Am I the only person that likes cold banana's?? Is there anything wrong with doing it? I prefer all my fruit to be cold. In fact I put all biscuites in the fridge. Even pizza shapes taste better cold.

Box of Crub

Box of Crub (n)

The name given to a box of things you have collected since highschool but have yet to use.

Items may include the following:
- tiny watch screwdrivers x 2
- small cockroach exo-skeleton x 5
- mouse ball
- colored paperclips x 3
- fluro colored (green) note pad, that it too small to be of any use
- lego mans hair (black) and a
- broken rubber band

Half Flush

Is it wrong to half flush on a No.2 even if it all goes down well?

I mean I'd prefer to half flush the majority down, if it means I can take a longer shower without feeling guilty.

Noisy Pee

Don't you love it when you can hear your neighbours pee.

I thought most people pee'd around the bowl, but the guy above me loves to shoot directly to the water. I'm pretty sure it's a guy or it's a women with a whole lotta pressure down there.

Or am i totaly under the wrong impression and the only person who pee's onto the bowl??

Old Medicine

I know yesterday I said expiry dates were for wimps but i was kinda worried When I saw the expiry date on my Migraine tablets after taking two of them

SEPT 97!!!!!

I can still remember mum buying them while I took the day off from highschool. I hate taking tablets, which explains why i still have 10 + tablets after 5 years. I just thought that medicine never went off, like flour. But now I check the flour and that too has an expiry date. Geez.

On a non related note if I was a robot I think i'd look like this

Coin Collection

Well the cat is out of the bag. My embarrassing secret is that I have been collecting the commemorative $1, 50c and 20c coins that I find in my spare change. I have some since high school. About 4 years old. (to think I've carted this tiny bag around with me for 4 years.

I keep it in a big jumbled bag in the cupboard. And I only keep one of each.

As if I couldn't feel any nerdier :)

The easiest part is pricing your collection. As the coins aren't worth any more than the decimal value on the coin :) And if you ever have to sell your collection (you really need to buy milk) then the 7-11 will accept market value.

The next train

Interesting that someone has archived the Voice of Cityrail

I do prefer the female voice, which they brought in for the 2000 Olympics.

The monitors they have now at the major stations, displaying what train is next, and the next two trains to come are no only a nice piece of design but a valuable resource for train goers. I wonder if this is standard in many countries? Or is Australia a leader in the field.

And speaking of questions where did tap dancing originate?

Sticky Sock

I went from Nth Straithfield to Town Hall and then Kings Cross with the right leg of my pants tucked into my pulled up sock. I only realised as I walked up the escalator of Kings Cross.

Luckily I was wearing nice socks

6 Side Burns

Perfect Side Burns is nearly as good as Semenex

This has inspired me to put my other passion onto video to help the rest of the world.

Announcing Perfect Pubic Trimming on VHS and DVD

Hosting Solutions

Thinking of Hosting a Party?

Then this sit may help. And I thought a dedicazted server had to do with web hosting.

Here's a few tips I'd like to add when hositng a party.

1: Hide any photos of yourself in comprimising positions.
2: dont have the stereo outside if there is a pool
3: make sure you get twist top beers. Drunk people dont care what they use as a bottle opener.
4: Pets should be taken to a friends house
5: Your mums faberge egg collection should be locked away